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A Story involving Purple Glasses, Nerd Words, and a Dancing Platypus
All was a normal day in Danville. That is, if you could call a day in Danville normal, considering the rollercoasters, cheesetopias, and turbo-sled beds, to name a few, that were built daily by two certain kids. You know, just forget the whole normal thing. Let's just say it was a normal day by Danvillian standards. Nobody was awake in the Flynn Fletcher House. Suddenly, the clock ticked seven, and a foghorn sounded throughout the surburban home. Phineas was rattled out of his bed. "Whoa!" he yelped, sitting up. "Did you hear that, Ferb?" Ferb, whose shock of green hair was sticking up all over the place, nodded. Perry chattered in his platypus way. Footsteps sounded marching down the hallway. Very angry footsteps. A second later, the bedroom door was thrown open. Candace, wearing her yellow Ducky Momo pajamas, stood in the doorway, clutching a Ducky Momo stuffed animal. "What was that, you little freaks of nature?" she yelled. Candace would normally have never called her brothers such a thing (unless she got trapped in one of their inventions again). But wake up Candace from her sleep, and you had an annoyed Candace. Wake up Candace from her sleep with a foghorn and you had one furious girl. Phineas blinked. "Um....I don't know." He looked around, eyes alighting on the small alarm clock sitting by his bed. "Wait, I do know!" He grabbed it. "Hey, Ferb! Guess we forgot to remodify the horn after we reenacted the Titanic yesterday, huh?" Ferb nodded in reply, a man of few words. Candace stared at her brothers for a few seconds, then growled in a pretty good impression of Perry, spun around, and marched back to her room. Phineas catapulted out of his bed. "Hey, Ferb!" he said. "Song time?" "Song time," agreed Ferb. And so in typical fashion, the two boys danced as a catchy tune played, blissfully unaware that they had just shattered the newly polished fourth wall (which is Carl's job, by the way). A while later, more than fifteen minutes but not quite half an hour, Phineas and Ferb were at the breakfast table. Their mother poured orange juice as the family dug into their bacon and eggs. "Say," she asked, "what was that foghorn noise I heard a while ago?" Phineas took a minute to swallow. "My alarm clock," he answered. "We modified it when we reenacted the sinking of the Titanic." Linda nodded absentmindedly. "What imagination," she chirped as she turned to get the toast. Candace came in. "Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. What up, dorks," she greeted as she snatched a piece of bacon and sat down. Linda put a plate of pancakes on the table. "Candace, don't forget you're going to the mall to get a job today," she reminded her daughter. Candace stopped with the bacon halfway to her mouth. "What? But I told Stacy we could go shopping today!" she protested. "Besides, I have plenty of money already." Linda gave Candace a look. "Honey, you borrowed fifteen dollars to get that new skirt last week and you still haven't paid me back." Candace nodded. "True enough. Fine, maybe Stacy and I can hit the mall after we look for jobs." She crunched into her bacon. Perry looked around as the family chatted on at the table, put on his hat, and tapped the side of the fridge three times. A tunnel opened up and he jumped in, free falling until he landed in his chair. The screen was already on, but nobody was there. He could hear what sounded like faint talking, but nobody appeared to greet him. Perry saluted, expecting to see Major Monogram step on. Nothing happened. Perry saluted again, wondering if anyone knew he had arrived. Nothing happened. The platypus waited a few moments, then jumped and banged on the screen as hard as he could in desperation. The talking stopped. Footsteps were heard, and a few moments later Carl poked his head on screen. "Oh, hey, Agent P!" he said, after seeing the platypus standing on his chair with his hands on his hips. Carl was wearing a very strange outfit. He had on what appeared to be Major Monogram's coat, but the whole thing was far too big for him and was draped around his skinny frame. Carl had also apparently put on a mustache like the major's, but he hadn't put it on right and it was tilted to one side. For a few moments Perry just stood and stared, until Carl spoke up. "Okay, so you're probably wondering why I'm dressed like Major Monogram, right?" the intern said with an awkward grin. "Well, uh, today is his vacation week." He got no reply except a disbelieving look from the platypus. "Oh, he didn't tell you, did he? Well, today, Major Monogram is arriving in Honolulu, and I'm in charge for the whole week! Cool, right?" Perry, seeing how excited Carl was at the prospect of being in charge, put aside his doubts and gave the thumbs up to the boy. "Okay," Carl said, "so you're expecting your briefing, right? Ooh, but I have to man the camera. Meh, I'm sure it'll be fine. Okay, so..." He cleared his throat and imitated Major Monogram. "Good morning, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz has been up to something lately. Video footage from Blueprint Heaven shows Doofenshmirtz last week picking up a large shipment of blueprints. Find out what he's doing and put a stop to it, Agent P! Good luck!" At that very moment, the camera tipped over. Perry heard a loud crash. The monitor went to static, but he heard Carl saying, "Agent D! What are you doing? Oh no, the camera!" The bewildered platypus stared at the screen for a few moments, then ran across the room and jumped into his hovercraft, which immediately rose through the ceiling and blasted off across the city. Candace's phone rang at the table. She jumped up, opened it, and answered, "Hey, Stace! Um, so Mom says we have to look for jobs today." A pause. "Yeah, I know we were gonna go shopping. We'll do that after." More pausing. "Well, that new clothing store right across from the Slushy Burger has openings. We could meet Coltrane and Jeremy for lunch." A final pause. "Okay, meet you by the fountain, Stace!" She hung up and immediately dashed for the front door, calling, "Gotta go to the mall, Mom! Bye!" and snagging a banana on the way. Phineas ate a spoonful of cereal. "So, Ferb," he said, "any ideas on what we should do today? Ferb shrugged and said nothing. Category:Fanon Works